Day Seventy Five

Dear Readers,
     Guest blogger tonight.  My brother in law Matt will try to use this opportunity to get back at me for airing a little of his dirty laundry to the public.  I don't know about all this spiteful revenge he wants.  I will let him have his moment.  This blog is unedited by myself, it is all Matt's words.  Enjoy.

Hello, Beard Blog Readers!
       This is my opportunity to finally get Dave back for all he's written about me. Yes, this is the official "Mimi's Farter" writing to you. I'm also the father of Dave's "Strong Willed" nephew who has been seen playing in the toilet on occasion.
       First, since this is a beard blog, I must write to you as a person who can not actually grow a beard. I'm sure many can relate. So when I read Dave indicating that having a beard is "manly", I can only frown on the fact that Dave segregates those who are not like him. I have to say though, if growing a beard like Dave means that I have to have a forest on my back like he does, I'll take not having a beard.
       When I think of Dave only 3 names come to mind. "Mute", "Chain-Saw", and "Playdoh Factory". Allow me to explain. First, let's chat about the "Mute". It's been over 12 years since I began dating my beautiful wife Yoli, who is Dave's sister. This is when I first met Dave. But as most of you know, Dave doesn't speak. So I guess I can't say I've really "Known" him for 12 years. He's just kind of been there. But on to my story. Dave's the type of person who sits back and observes. Some may call him a gentle bearded giant, but we all know the truth. Dave is more like a gentle Chipmunk storing up information in his cheeks from all he sees and hears, only to release it in some "Beard Blog" later. I think many of us can agree that though we've "known" Dave for years, through this blog we're really only now getting to know who he is, how mean he can be, and how he can care less about peoples feelings. Do you still like him?  I didn't think so. I feel sorry for Brandon and Brooke who have been the target of Dave's blog more than I have. I actually wouldn't be surprised if Dave lost friends over this blog. I'm sure it's okay since  he spends more time being affectionate to the beard than he does with Raina. I'm guessing  the beard is all he needs to be happy. You go Dave!
       "Chain-saw" is a name that's fitting. Last summer Dave and Raina, along with my family and my parents took a vacation to Virginia. We decided to share a room for 2 nights in Washington DC before heading to Williamsburg. What a mistake! Poor Micah would fall asleep only to be awakened by snore after snore after snore as Dave slept peacefully and all of us tossed and turned.  I spent more time trying to get Micah back to sleep for those 2 nights than anything else. I told myself, "never again". But oh how quickly we forget. In January we flew to Seattle for Yoli's birthday. I was actually going up for work, and decided to bring Dave, Raina and Yoli along for the trip. I had a hotel room already, so it made things convenient. As I layed down, the heavy breathing from across the room grew louder and louder, and then, it happened. Loud snoring that made my eyes water traveled from one end of the room to the other all night long. "What the heck?!!!!" I had to work the next day and sit in a meeting, and there I was, laying there and realizing that I once again did it to myself. I guess I wont sleep. Walls shake and glass clatters when Dave sleeps. It's like a chain-saw. Good luck Raina!
       Finally, "Playdoh Factory". As a kid I used to always see the commercial for the "Playdoh Factory".  Basically you'd take your Playdoh, put it into this plastic factory thing, crank a little shaft, and that would  turn it into a long star or some funny shape. I remember I finally got one, and was greatly disapointed. It was all fun until I wanted to change the color without mixing the Playdoh. There were only 2 ways to actually get the Playdoh that was in the factory out. Either use a  long stick or something, or put more Playdoh in so that it would push the other color out, still  mixing the 2 colors. It was frustrating. Well, Dave reminds me of this, because for anyone who knows Dave, nearly 15 minutes after eating a meal you'll find Dave in the restroom for the next 30 minutes. By Dave's own admission, if he eats dinner, that food will push lunch out. If he eats lunch, the lunch will push breakfast out. Dave is a human "Playdoh Factory". Within minutes of eating a meal, you'll find Dave, the hairy, mute, chain-saw Playdoh Factory man in the restroom taking care of business, leaving behind the remnants of his "Playdoh", and the aroma seeping under the door and through the house.
       Now that I know Dave, I like the guy. I spent my first few months knowing him by taking the  opportunity to steal the spot light from a couple of his "Special Days". For example, when Raina and Dave were at his parent's house to take pictures for their prom, Yoli and I walked in showing everyone the engagement ring I purchased her. And when Dave graduated High School, we took the opportunity to announce to her entire family that Yoli and I were getting married at hisgraduation party.....during the "Congratulations Dave" toast. I think Dave held a grudge for awhile. He claimes we "stole his thunder". I thought we were passed it. But by the look of Dave's recent blog posts, I can see he's still bitter. Please keep Dave in prayer for a forgiving heart. Only God can crack that nut.  Love ya Dave!

Matt

P.S.   Dave is watching Micah for Yoli and I while we spend the evening in Santa Barbara. For the record, I'm not ditching Micah or Kailee and letting someone else do my job. So if Dave goes into this again, don't buy it. Dave is a great uncle and loves the opportunity of watching his niece and nephew, and they love him.

(My response will come tomorrow.  Muwahaha.)

This Day In History: 44 B.C.
Gaius Julius Caesar, dictator of Rome, is stabbed to death in the Roman Senate by 60 conspirators led by Marcus Junius Brutus and Gaius Cassius Longinus.

Born This Day: 1767
Andrew Jackson - Seventh U.S. president

"Fear not, the people may be deluded for a moment, but cannot be corrupted."

-Andrew Jackson

A beard even makes an assassin better at his job